This resonates so very much. I am not sure where I am in terms of ASD - much of what you say sounds familiar. I wonder if perhaps I am so used to masking I mask from myself? The ME/CFS is so real - but by and large I find the joy of live music is always worth the agony of losing a week. I used to berate myself but the kind of measured half life I tried to live was deeply miserable.
I hope your body's response isn't too harsh, and that the joy of seeing them carries you through.
7 days in, still crashing but I think tomorrow is going to be better. I very much struggle to unmask, I’ve spent 50+ years masking, I’m not sure where the real me begins. So slowly, slowly goes it. I’m very sure if I’d gone with my husband I’d be mostly recovered by now.
I so agree, the half life is deeply miserable, and the angst and frustration it causes takes up energy anyway. I may as well do what I can when I can.
This is very honest. Thanks for sharing this. People need to see, hear, feel (and hopefully begin to understand) through your experiences, how it is to try to function in this society with ASD. It made me sad that you learned to hide your stimming to be more socially accepted. This is what masking is, suppression of self. It makes me think of how much we presume about others when all it would take sometimes to help someone feel safe and seen is a simple question: Is that volume ok for you? Are you ok with this music on? Anyway, it’s late. I’m up wrestling Calpol into teething toddler. I would like to write more but I’m too tired…
I hope the teething toddler feels better soon. And you get some rest.
I don’t think this person ‘believes’ in autism, they have always blanked me when I mention it in any form (all my kids are ND). I have learnt a lot from our outing though, about them and me.
This resonates so very much. I am not sure where I am in terms of ASD - much of what you say sounds familiar. I wonder if perhaps I am so used to masking I mask from myself? The ME/CFS is so real - but by and large I find the joy of live music is always worth the agony of losing a week. I used to berate myself but the kind of measured half life I tried to live was deeply miserable.
I hope your body's response isn't too harsh, and that the joy of seeing them carries you through.
7 days in, still crashing but I think tomorrow is going to be better. I very much struggle to unmask, I’ve spent 50+ years masking, I’m not sure where the real me begins. So slowly, slowly goes it. I’m very sure if I’d gone with my husband I’d be mostly recovered by now.
I so agree, the half life is deeply miserable, and the angst and frustration it causes takes up energy anyway. I may as well do what I can when I can.
I hear you x Here's to a slightly better tomorrow
This is very honest. Thanks for sharing this. People need to see, hear, feel (and hopefully begin to understand) through your experiences, how it is to try to function in this society with ASD. It made me sad that you learned to hide your stimming to be more socially accepted. This is what masking is, suppression of self. It makes me think of how much we presume about others when all it would take sometimes to help someone feel safe and seen is a simple question: Is that volume ok for you? Are you ok with this music on? Anyway, it’s late. I’m up wrestling Calpol into teething toddler. I would like to write more but I’m too tired…
I hope the teething toddler feels better soon. And you get some rest.
I don’t think this person ‘believes’ in autism, they have always blanked me when I mention it in any form (all my kids are ND). I have learnt a lot from our outing though, about them and me.
If you want to write more please do.